Importance of Listening

The Importance of Listening and Connection in Care giving.

Following a very inspirational talk that I was privileged to hear from one of our Friends this morning it has led me to ponder and reevaluate the profound importance of simply listening. This on the surface sounds easy enough. We each have two ears and one mouth. However, when put into practice and when we observe ourselves and those around us I think we will find it is a skill that many of us lack, including myself. 

I recall a lesson I was given when I was 16 which said that communication is 60% Listening and 40% speaking. We learn far more and gain far greater understanding of one another through listening. Not listening to speak, not waiting for our turn. But listening to what the other person is saying and isn’t saying. Considering them, and what they are trying to convey without the need to hear our own voice. I believe these are where the best relationships are built. The best marriages, the best friendships. Seek understanding first. There is power and grace found in the quiet.

Hold a spotlight on others NOT ourselves. Will in turn nurture a dynamic of mutual respect, appreciation, understanding and listening. 

We meet and work with so many different people through work and our everyday lives. As I consider how to support and understand those around me. I come to the thoughts of first just listen so that we can connect. Second, seek calm, peace and quiet. Our voices carry more weight and power the less we talk, as we learn to be comfortable in silence, especially when we are giving another their space to be heard. As we give space for others to be heard we in turn I believe will find our voice and be able to be heard also. Choose our words carefully. 

In the line of work our business is involved in we will meet clients and people who are at their limits. Run down, burnt out and worn out. We may even find ourselves going through our versions of this. Many people are struggling with loneliness and connection. Trying to fill the voids any way they can. I would like to take the approach of listening to understand. Listening to find connection and trying not to fix everything, I for one am very guilty of trying to fix things and create solutions. I am learning and recognizing that this isn’t as helpful as I think it is. Listen, understand and open doors to creating and building connections. Often this is what people need first. No one cares what you know until they see how much you care.

I would also like to add the importance of being grounded when working with clients. Striving to find balance in doing our work, while nurturing our calm and calm for the clients. I am often the type of person who go go goes… I have had to work at taking a breath and slowing myself down as I move through my days with the clients we care for. 

I see clients trying to fill voids, reach out and find connections in not always the healthiest way, I would like to try a different approach. If you choose to try this approach let me know how it goes. The approach I am going to try is listening more and asking questions that will help me to learn from them what their individual needs might be and how I can better meet them. Consider how to help others to feel the way you want to feel… People will forget our words, but they won't forget how we make them feel. 

From my own personal experience, I find it very difficult to be around people or want to be around people who don’t listen. You can be quiet for a second without actually hearing what the other person is saying. There are words and then there is understanding.

I am a work in progress! its better to try and fall short then to not try at all... Lets try to walk one another home with compassion.

~ Terrylynn Bailleul